I used to work in a restaurant where people would often call and ask if we were hiring. The official answer was, “We are not necessarily hiring, but we are always accepting applications.”
For the past few days, I have been visiting friends in Nashville. Most of the people I see while I am there are paired up, if not married. I am the anomaly. While I am there I always get asked “have you been seeing anyone?” or “what happened to that one guy you were dating for a while?” I don’t mind these questions. I am not ashamed or saddened by the fact that I am single. What caught me off guard, was one couple asked me if I was seeing anyone and after I said no, the woman turned to her husband and said “She’s a free agent, she has no time for that.” I thought that was odd. This woman seemed to feel the need to defend my single status to her husband. I never realized I needed a defense.
The truth of the matter is, I totally have time to date. Yes, I plan to leave the town in which I am currently living in about a year from now. Yes, a serious relationship would be complicated considering that fact (compounded with my catastrophic and extensive experiences in long distance dating and therefore unwillingness to ever try that again). Yes, I work a lot and have tunnel vision heading toward my goals for the next year. None of this is the reason I am not dating. The reason is: the situation has not come up. I don’t really meet new people. I have no interest in meeting new people. Sure, I would love to have someone to tag along to dinners with friends and their boyfriends (mostly so the boys can talk about dude stuff and I can totally avoid any discussion of baseball whatsoever), but not enough to go looking. If some guy asked me out, I would probably say yes (depending on several variables, of course). I am not looking for anything serious, but I also would not say that I am closed to the idea. I am simply, not looking. I am not necessarily hiring, but I am always accepting applications.
I am not sad, I am not lonely, but don’t try to take my current marital status and turn it into something empowering for single women. My life is not a statement on how a woman does not need a man to be happy. My life is not a statement on how a woman should put her career before her personal life. My life is not a statement. I am simply, single. Why do you need it to be more?