I Wish You Would Not Wear That…

There are no cut and dry rules when it comes to fashion. Everyone is entitled to their own style. However, there are certainly some choices that may be saying more about you than you realize. We live in a world where people will judge you based on the clothes you wear. My entire career is based in this fact. There are clothes you should and should not wear to interviews, to auditions, to Christmas dinner with your girlfriend’s family. You clothes may be saying more about yourself than you realize. And here are some things we would like you to avoid:

Once you officially enter adulthood, whatever that means to you, it is probably a good idea to reevaluate your wardrobe. I can pinpoint the time in my life where I stopped wearing sweats on a daily basis and started establishing what would become my style. That transition took place somewhere between my senior year of college and my first year of “real life.” This also means it is time to stop shopping at clothing stores geared toward teens. For example, I do not shop at Forever 21 anymore, because 21 came and went years ago and there merchandise is not suitable for adults. For men, this may include Abercrombie, Hollister, Pac Sun, and other such stores. If it is a brand you sought out in high school, it is probably time to move on (unless you were wearing Tom Ford in high school, and then please, carry on). P.S. the whole “Affliction” thing was over before it began. If you are still wearing these t-shirts, please burn them immediately, they were NEVER ok.

Another thing that needs to happen once you consider yourself an adult, wear clothing that fits you. If you have to walk like the Penguin from Batman Returns to keep your pants from falling off entirely, you should find better fitting pants. If I can see your underwear, you should find better fitting pants. If you pants are so tight, they no longer leave anything to the imagination, you should find better fitting pants. Bike shorts, running leggings, yoga pants. These things are fine if you are currently riding a bike, running, or doing yoga. These things are not acceptable for meeting someone for lunch.

You should also take colors and bold patterns into consideration. There are some guys who can pulls off colors that you cannot. And that is ok. Same with bright or bold patterns. This is all determined by your own coloring and personality. I cannot wear orange. It makes me look like I am from the Jersey Shore. A friend of mine refuses to wear yellow because she is blonde and believes it makes her look like a banana. Certain colors will clash with your skin tone and should be avoided. My hard and fast rule for bold clothing choices: Your clothes should only be as loud as your personality.

I have a personal vendetta against men in tank tops. If is is 90 degrees or higher and you are going to be outside, I can forgive you for this, but I cannot forgive the sleeveless t-shirts. If it looks like you Hulked-out and ripped the sleeves off of a t-shirt, I am so not ok with that. If you want to look like a super hero that’s cool, but the Hulk is a poor choice. Try a super-hero t-shirt with the sleeves still intact. Try wearing something that Bruce Wayne would wear (which was Armani is the Christopher Nolan series). And I don”t care how hot it is. Jean shorts are never an option.

Shoes. First off, your shoes should not be the most eye-catching part of your outfit. People’s attention will go where their eye lead them. Your feet is a poor choice. Another thing that many men still have not seemed to grasp is that if you wearing black shoes, wear a black belt. If you are wearing brown shoes, wear a brown belt. If you are wearing black shoes and a brown belt, or brown shoes with a black belt, you look like a fool. Also, men should not wear flip-flops. You just shouldn’t. Here is Emma Watson stating how she hates that American men wear flip-flops.

Let talk about the things that make you look like a creeper. Mustaches with no beard. Mutton chops (are you in a play?). Mullets. When in college, you are welcome to try stupid things with your facial hair. I get it, you’ve never been able to grow facial hair before and it would be hilarious if you had old school mutton chops. By senior year, it is time to get serious. If people are crossing to the other side of the street to avoid you, it is time to reevaluate your facial hair situation. They probably think you are the guy from the flyer the Neighborhood Watch handed out last week. Too much jewelry has this same effect. Chose wisely. Wedding rings are always acceptable (unless you are hitting on someone other than your wife) but any other ring is questionable. Watches are good, but keep a close eye on your bracelet choices. Necklaces are not cool. I’m down with the Catholic Saint necklaces or something that is truly meaningful, as long as it is tasteful and mostly unseen. Gold chains circa 1977, make you look like a creep. Less is definitely more on the jewelry intake.

Lastly, don’t try to hard. This may sound like the opposite of what I have been trying to get across, but if you care too much, that is also a huge turn-off. It should not take you longer to get ready than it does me. You should not look like you tried harder than I did. Your hair should not have so much product that I cannot run my fingers through it easily and without needing to wash my hands immediately after. You should not be any more tan that the amount of sun your skin has seen will allow. Your teeth should not be so white they glow in black light (I’m talking to you, Ross Geller).

Is there anything I missed?

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